Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
