I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
if only i could text you this smell
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
