If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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