Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
