okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
