So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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