ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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