i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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