Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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