I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
