the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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