Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
