Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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