I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
