Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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