Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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