So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
