I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
