It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
