Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
