he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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