weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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