Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
