Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize