he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
