i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
