winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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