i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
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She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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