Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
