TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
