So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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