Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Help. Why am I so naked?
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