meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
