Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
FUCK WHALES
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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