the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
