i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
