i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
