a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
