I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
