Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i think i have herpe
just one?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize