I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Rumble strips road head = magical
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
