The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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