he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
