I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
