I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
