do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
