If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
