You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
