The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
