last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
