i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
