and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
