he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
vagina is talking i cant
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My vagina just clenched in fear
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
