if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
