the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
