This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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