who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
