I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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